Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
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it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
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SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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