Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
All I want is dick and wine.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
