Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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