Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
