i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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