i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
