She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
