Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
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The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
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The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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