yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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