Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
