Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize