you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Bring me that man meat
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
