People in love make me want to vomit
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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