My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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