Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
