all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
