He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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