Screwed.edu
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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