his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
