how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
