i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
