she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
