drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
