STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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