He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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