I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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