why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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