alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
