i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
