If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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