remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We got so high we made milksteak
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
