Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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