The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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