let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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