I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
