"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
