You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
