i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
