I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
