Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
