Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
