i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
