Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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