And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
