I accidentally had phone sex last night
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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