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You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
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