I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.