she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again