bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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