Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
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Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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