no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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