3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
tell me about the fingering
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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