What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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