the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
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just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
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don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
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