Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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