My nipple is on Facebook.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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