well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
