Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
